Monday, January 26, 2009

Conspiracy Theories Run Amok

As a fan new to this sport, I am sure I am not the first, nor the only, person, to be certain that there is some type of conspiracy against my team. In fact, as I sit in on game discussion threads (or GDT's as they are called) on the coolest fan forum for hockey fans anywhere (The NHL Arena, and if you aren't on there you need to go there right now!!), I witness constant discussions about fairness of calls or penalties to the point of conspiracy discussions. However, I truly think that this year, with our team, the Columbus Blue Jackets, there is something rotten in the state of Ontario (and don't even get me started on how they treat dogs!).
So let me cut to the chase: my theory is that there is a conspiracy to make it as difficult as possible for the Blue Jackets to get into the playoffs.
Let me lay it all out for you...
Well, if you've been paying attention, and if you are a Jackets fan...I probably don't have to detail these out completely for you....the persistent kicking motions, the nets being pushed off, the epically bad calls or lack there of, the goals being allowed to stand against us, or taken away from us at any given turn. It's ridiculous.
Obviously there is no way in hockey to control all aspects of a game. I's hockey! It involves a frozen piece of rubber being chased around a pool of ice by strapping young men at blistering speeds! So the only aspects that can be controlled are those that are the most subjective and so the aspects controlled by the referees would be it. But not all of them...that would be too obvious. Nope. Just certain ones that need to be reviewed. By others. In another room. In another country.
Yes folks, for you not familiar with that process...the War Room that reviews these calls exists in Toronto. For real. Makes perfect sense, right?
Ahhhh. Here is the beauty of my theory. It works even if it doesn't work!
You will note that the conspiracy is not to keep the Jackets out of the playoffs, just to make it as difficult as possible. We, as Jackets fans, know how hard it has been never having tasted the sweet flavor of post-season games. We feel the pain. So if they make it to those mid-April days, even after having face down all these awful calls and horrible injuries...OMG - WHAT A STORY!?!?! Can you see the PR dream? The NHL will have a Cinderella story packaged up and ready to go!! The heavens will part above Nationwide Arena and heavenly light will shine down from Toronto, pretty lady advertising executives will descend upon Columbus to sell tons of air time, folks will come from far and wide to cheer on the Jackets, and the Blue Line stores will run out of stuff to sell! Awesome, right??
And if they lose? Well, par for the course, meh, we did it last year, big whoop, see ya' next fall.
So yeah...I think this is real. I think there is nothing to lose and everything to gain by making it unbelievably hard for our boyz.
Again, as a new fan, it has been disappointing to see my faith in a system of checks (PUN!) and balances fail miserably. That being said, I will continue to put my faith where it really counts... into this team... who is putting their heart and soul, blood and guts into every game!

Carry the Flag!

Being reported on Puck-rakers is that the Red Wings are appealing the one game sit out rule for Datsuk and Lindstrom. If they get their way, they will be able to play in the all-important first game back against us Tuesday night.

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